

Hallmark’s The Keeper ornament has a clear height advantage, towering nearly 3/4” above his competitor. What Star Trek: The Experience’s Talosian lacks in height is made up in weight. The Talosian weighs in at a hefty five ounces more than the rookie upstart.
Ring the bell, already!
ROUND 1 (Eye hook placement)


An eye hook is fastened to the back of the Talosian’s neck and vanishes when the ornament is observed head on. A devastating hook to The Keeper’s head gives Talosian the first round.
Round 1 scoring: Talosian: 10, The Keeper: 9
ROUND 2 (Head details)





The head of the Talosian has a more bulbous shape and a closer depiction of what was on screen. Unfortunately, it is sloppily executed. In contrast, The Keeper’s less accurate oval shape is very clean and defined. After trading head shots, The Keeper wins the second round.
Round 2 scoring: Talosian: 9, The Keeper: 10
ROUND 3 (Necklace details)


Upon close inspection of the necklace, the Talosian’s paint technique is jarring. In contrast, The Keeper has clean, crisp lines and colors. Hallmark delivers an uppercut when it comes to the paint details.
Round 3 scoring: Talosian: 9, The Keeper: 10
ROUND 4 (Hand details)


The Keeper gets knocked to the canvas by a fierce left-right combination from the Talosian. The Keeper struggles to pull himself up off the mat due to his lack of hands.
Round 4 scoring: Talosian: 10, The Keeper: 8
ROUND 5 (Robe details)


The Talosian’s robe is very rudimentary. The Keeper sports the finest detail of any Star Trek ornament to date. This seemingly new manufacturing technique gives this robe its gorgeous texture. “DOWN GOES TALOSIAN! DOWN GOES TALOSION!”
Round 5: The Keeper delivers a knockout punch to the Talosian!


I think “Rage in The Cage” was a missed opportunity. 😉
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Who’s the proven writer here anyway? Oh, never mind.
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